This very funny piece is courtesy of Porter Glendinning
<< INSERT COMPANY NAME >> is interested in receiving proposals for the design
and development of a Web site. The goal of this site is to << INSERT GOAL
HERE (Yes, you have to have a goal.) >>.
We understand that we know very little about setting up a Web site, which
is why we'd like your help, and will not insist on things that you say
would be a bad idea.
We will not demand that you use a "really cool" graphic we saw on another
Web page, nor will we point you to another site and say, "We want it to
look just like that."
We will ask for neither a flaming nor a spinning logo.
We will not cut the budget for this project in half three days into
development and still expect everything in your proposal to be completed.
We understand that the cost you will give us up front is an estimate, and
will be reasonable if you tell us that the ten new features we're demanding
will increase the cost of the project.
We already have a plan to market the site to our desired audience through
several different media efforts, and do not expect that because we put up a
site it will immediately start drawing in traffic.
We will not request a penalty clause in the contract that has anything to
do with our site's placement in search engine results, or the amount of
traffic the site receives.
After the site is complete we will not attempt to edit pages in FrontPage
and then complain to you when the site stops working.
We will not make design or content changes the night before the site is to
be delivered to us.
We will not put off giving you copy for weeks and weeks, and then complain
that the site was not finished on time.
Please submit proposals to: